Sunday, June 13, 2010

Voyage - Day 10

It was a quiet day aboard ship, no mutiny of which to speak. I always worry when it gets too quiet. My kiddos are rather pinkish right now, which is what happens when they spend the night with their darker complected friends. They were in the pool, and, like all offspring born of "skim-milk-skin" parents, they burn like champs! No blisters or anything like that, just a light pinking of shoulders and noses. I know what you're thinking, how irresponsible of you, MOM! I apologize, they were swimming after 5pm, and I forgot to remember that the sun would come up the next day like a blazing disc of hell and scorch my children's hides. Needless to say, or perhaps, needfully said, (I wonder if it is just my progeny that become slightly wonky after sun exposure) my boys returned to the Metzner ranch in rare form, like DMV employees, they were cranked! Perhaps the unique combination of sleep deprivation and over exertion and chemical fumes from the chlorine joined forces to create a race of small, demanding mutants with pink skin. I offered sacrifices to placate them, food and beverage, but was forced to resort to tossing them into the rack at 8:00pm, which, according to children is akin to blasphemy. I blew kisses and left the room to a chorus of (sing it with me now....) "But MOO-OOM, it's not even DARK yet!" The soundtrack of summer: The calypso favorite, "MOM, he took my ______!" The R & B classic "He Busted A Cap In My Butt...Dang Nerf Dart." The always inspirational "I'm Bored, There's Nothing To Do!" And, my personal favorite, "The Snack Drawer's Empty, What Can I Have For A Snack?" I was anticipating that the mutants would have returned my normal children to me by this morning...I mean, if someone plied me with food and rubbed aloe into my neck and shoulders and put me to bed, I would be eternally grateful. But that's just me. They awoke in the same frame of mind...i was taking a number and preparing to spend the day at the DMV (it would have been a relief.) They are browning nicely, though, like little biscuits of destiny. Aidan actually tried to get out of going to church by using the classic line, "I can't go to church, Mom, I have a sunburn, and I won't be able to worship God NAKED." If I had a nickel for every time I heard that one...

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